I was sitting at the kitchen table the other day when I noticed the bottom section of a book peeking out from under my discarded newspaper. The only part of the page I could see was;

“Forgive them Father, they know not what they do.”

I stared at it awhile and began reassessing my view of that long abandoned edict. The last time I saw that line I viewed it through a singularly Catholic prism. Since then I’ve been through a 12 step program, Buddhism, life school, meditation practice, Oprah and Eckart Tolle.

So.
Is it still true? Was it ever true?
Do people really not know what they do?

Being in the violence prevention business puts a very interesting spin on this platitude. Did Chris Brown really not know what he was doing when he beat Rihanna? Did those 20 or so young men who watched a Richmond girl being raped not know what they were doing? And why should I forgive them?

Maybe there’s some kind of acceptable gray area between evil and ignorance. Maybe evil knows exactly what it’s doing but evil diluted with apathy doesn’t. And apathy diluted with complacency must also be forgiven and on down the delusion scale to ignorance. If that’s true most of us have a whole cast of characters in our lives that must be forgiven even while we suspect their actions – though quite purposeful – were driven by ignorance.

Surely if you are a soldier nailing a human being to cross, you are aware, on some level of what you are doing – at least physically. The soldier must justify it somehow. The crowd watching, cheering him on must justify it.
The emperor, the high priests all justified it somehow. But Jesus said to forgive them – said they didn’t know what they were doing. All I can think at this time is that he is speaking spiritually. That there is damage occurring on a level that they are unaware of and thus the ‘ignorance’ part.

This has always been a difficult issue for me. I am judgmental, I do use my reason all the time to assess people and situations. Depending on what’s happened I take my time forgiving people. I believe in that. I know so many people who jump to forgiveness to avoid the discomfort of confrontation and anger. I believe in calling people out on their behavior, I believe in being adult enough to be called out on mine.

It’s not that I ‘hold on’ to anger in a grim resentful way. I use it to grow. I don’t like to shut down justifiable anger. I like to let it melt in the light of day and new information involving the conflict and the principles concerned. I feel anger is important, has a place in this world and shouldn’t be shaken off. I believe in forgiveness but as a transformative power, not saintly armor.

If I was Jesus, with his flame of wisdom and his insiders perspective on the realities of eternal life, I might just ask my Creator to forgive others on my behalf. I might have that profound vision of ignorance in the midst of people doing heinous things, knowing exactly what they are doing but perhaps, and most importantly, not why.

I was recently reading a report written by Muadi Mukenge of Global Fund for Women. At one point she was describing a ‘school’ she visited on her way to the mineral mines in the Congo.

“Then we drive further to visit the nuns that are taking care of refugee orphans. We see the dormitory where the orphans sleep. It’s small and crowded — we must keep in mind that the nuns have received no grants, no government support. They have a field where they grow vegetables that are sold for profit. This profit was used to build a very modest school that when you look at it you can’t even call it a school. It’s made with mud by hand, with a dirt floor, the ceiling not taller than 5 feet and the room holds about 8 rows of old benches. Again, this was a moment that made us all speechless.”

I swear I can see this school in my head. I can see the nuns and their garden. See the hands of the community building the mud walls and I can feel the determination in their hearts.

These are the times where I am truly amazed by human beings, not to mention the value of education. When I went to school I was always hearing about the starving African children. I was supposed to feel a combination of gratitude and guilt. I also heard about how Abraham Lincoln used to walk 2 miles to school everyday and do his homework by candle light. I can’t say I wasn’t moved by this information because I was. I used to picture his feet being ice cold and how much he must have wanted to learn to do what he did. I really couldn’t relate.

But now, having seen the things I’ve seen I have to say I know I  really and truly undervalued my education. I see the effects of ignorance all around me.

I see it in Sarah Palin as a form of willful ignorance. I saw it every moment of everyday of Bush’s presidency. I see it in governments, religions, society in general. The lack of education, the under funding of it, early pregnancy, low paying jobs, prison overpopulation, grinding poverty, spousal abuse, child abuse.

And yet there are these nuns in the Congo, way out there by the mineral mines, demanding that in their small corner of the earth the children around them get their fair share of knowledge in this world.

Got a new dog today. Her name is Buttercup. I saw her online and filled out an application to adopt her.
Today, Grateful Dog Rescue workers Karen and Chris brought her over. I asked them about Buttercups history.
They told me they are new to rescue work. They said they filled out an online application to volunteer for GDR and got a call the very next day to rescue Buttercup. They were told she was slated for destruction the following day if no one took her in.
I asked why Buttercup did not go up for adoption and they said because she growls and bites.

Karen and Chris have left and Buttercup is beside herself with grief. She keeps staring at the door that she last saw them walk out of. She is also terrified of me and snaps at my every comforting overture.
She’s really adorable and I can’t wait to hold her. But that will have to wait. Right now she’s teaching me a lot about the power self defense.

You can see Buttercup at; http://www.petfinder.com/petnote/displaypet.cgi?petid=14963319

I’m reading a lot about teenagers and violence and am beginning to really remember what high school was like for me. I went to the kind of school where it wasn’t the boys beating up their girlfriends, it was the girls beating up other girls. I remember one night I went to a party and a girl I knew asked to speak with me in another room. The next thing I knew, she and her friends jumped me and started hitting me. All I remember next is leaving and thinking that was the weirdest thing I had ever experienced – but it wasn’t. What happened next was.

This girl and I had a class together in school the next day. Much of our relationship had been spent passing notes to one another during class to pass the time. This day would be no different. Sure enough, a note was passed to me from her. In it were the usual comments and observations about her clothes, boyfriend, nerdy teacher etc. I was totally floored. What about the fight? What about the fact that she lured me to another room to be attacked by her girlfriends?
Not a word.

After class, I confronted her. “Mandy’ I said, what’s this? You’re passing me notes after you beat on me last night? What the hell is wrong with you? Why did you do that?”
She said that I was trying to steal her boyfriend behind her back. I thought carefully. I wasn’t even sure who he was. Then I realized I had met him recently, through a car window, in passing. I told her this. Told her I had never spoken to him and had zero interest.
“I’m sorry’ she said, “that’s what I heard.” She looked like she was going to cry.

Mandy never again, in any way acknowledged what happened that night. She continued to smile at me in the halls and make a fuss when she saw me. She never acknowledged the coolness with which I treated her. She went along oblivious to anything that didn’t immediately threaten her relationship with her boyfriend.

My home town was full of girls like Mandy. You could be beat up for being pretty or different or confident or even happy. There was so much aggression. It’s pretty intense to remember all this because so much of my focus in violence prevention is on the guy. It’s the guy who is going to abuse you assault you.
Not in my high school. Not in my day. It was the girls you had to watch out for.

Well, what a wild week this was! Suffice to say things are definitely moving along in the NMNW hemisphere.

This week is all about networking with school administrators, jumping through hoops to become a credited service provider in our district, finishing touches on the website, meeting with the GGL’s, studying our first NMN teen survey and last but not least carving out our new curriculum. Shazam!

It’s always hard to go back to work after the holidays – get in the swing of things again. Everyone I talk with is doing their best to get back in the groove. I hope we all have the best year ever. I really do.

Salute!

Lee

It’s so exciting to finally launch NO MEANS NO WORLDWIDE website! We’re still adding new sections as they become available but we’re getting there.

Thanks so much for stopping by. Please have a look around but be sure to visit again soon – there are many more features on the way!

xo
Lee